You would think that the choice of charity for this is straightforwards. After all my mum died of cancer when I was younger and my dad has cancer now which they can slow but not cure. I think that my mum would approve of me trying this. She always wanted her children to follow their dreams and experience as much of the world as possible. Yet, when it came to set up the JustGiving page it took effort on my part to choose Marie Curie as the nominated charity. That's when I realised just how deeply personal a thing it still was for me. Right about the point where I started crying as I was trying to fill in the page.
It's not that I don't want to remember my parents or help people who find themselves in the same situation. But the effort of sharing those feelings or even maybe just the events that they come from is an act which has left me feeling very alone and vulnerable. Now, the whole thing means so much more and I have to face up to my doubts about myself along with everything else. Maybe people should only raise money for good causes they aren't emotionally involved with.
Still - I guess it's a reason to go and slosh around in the mud at Boot Camp tonight.
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